Monday, March 9, 2009

Southerners Talk Music!

When I was eight years old, I vowed never to say the word "ya'll" and kept forcing the tedious "you guys" out of my Midwestern mouth. By the time I reached adulthood, "ya'll" was rolling off my tongue as smooth as butter and after a few drinks in my system, I adopted a Southern drawl. Ah, yes. The Southern drawl. When I think of Southern accents, I think of Scarlett O' Hara wailing, As God is my witness, I will never be hungry again! Other favorite Southern accents include Johnny Cash, Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, Matthew McConaughey, and Paula Dean. Oh, and I must give a shout-out to John Edwards on behalf of younger sister who seems to become weak in the knees every time she hears him speak. Or sees his Southern flop.

The Lady & Sons Restaurant in Savannah, Georgia. Hey ya'll!

In effort to prepare for my husband's kin folk's arrival from the North, which will entail a series of Atlanta Braves versus Boston Red Sox games, I am fixin' to brush up on my Southern lingo. Like the urban dictionary, we, too, here in the South have our Southern dictionary. I reckon I will learn quite a few new phrases to use while I heckle all the Red Sox fans while sippin' my sweet tea vodka.

SAM HILL: an expression of bewilderment as in Why the Sam Hill are there so many Yankees livin' in the South?

BLESS HER HEART: a phrase used by a Southern woman to excuse themselves for speaking poorly of someone else. This is one of my favorite Southern sayings and a thank you to for this prime example: She's as ugly as a mud-fence, bless her heart.

WHITE ON RICE: to be on or close to something. Bill stuck to that Hillary like white on rice.

NEAR BOUT': almost as in David Ortiz near bout' broke his neck when he tried to steal second base.

RAISE SAND: when a person is about to throw a hissy fit: My hubby is fixin' to raise sand cause his team is losin'.

FIDDLE DEE DEE: a synonym for f**k, used to conceal vulgarity: Fiddle-dee-dee. War, war, war. This war talk's spoiling all the fun at every party this spring. I get so bored I could scream (Scarlett O'Hara).

Great balls of fire. Don't bother me anymore, and don't call me sugar.

Other Southern phrases:

Why are you smilin' like a goat in a briar patch? This phrase is used when somebody is up to no good and hidin' it.

This goat ain't smilin' though.

I am hungrier than a bitch hounddog suckin' pups.

It'd be a dark night at the well before she'd get a drink. This means she is so ugly, she would only get her drinks from the well at night to avoid being seen.

I wouldn't spit in his ass if his guts was on far (fire)! This means you do not care for this person.

And don't forget The Southern Golden rule: y'all is singular, all y'all is plural and all y'all's is plural possessive.

All ya'll come back now, ya here!